Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize