i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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