never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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