Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
