that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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