Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
