I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
