FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize