I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
