And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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