The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
