How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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