The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize