Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
