What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
