he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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