Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
