I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize