Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
