Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
