I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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