Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
