What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
what day is it and did you see me today?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You can't just leave with hair like that
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
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