I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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