My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
