just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
