he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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