Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I am naked and annoyed.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
