let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
