just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
