What a fucking waste of an outfit
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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