You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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