Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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