lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
