How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Sorry my hands just texted you
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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