But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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