using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
