I want to make a zoo with you.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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