4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
