My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My ass is underappreciated
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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