dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
