A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
