I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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