did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
