listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Randomize
