I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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