She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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