Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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