Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
