i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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