i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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