No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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