seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
