There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize