Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
