If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Damn victory sex feels great
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
