Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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