and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
