he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
