can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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